Welcome to the Lacking Organization!

Everything needs an origin story

by Julius C. Lacking Julius C. Lacking
Dramatization Dramatization

It is a miracle indeed that the mathematically deranged output of a process of organization can make it onto the public airwaves! But far more miraculous that there is a Reader out there, presumably besides myself, who is interested in such a thing. This scenario, necessitating the creation of this page would be unfathomable, had it just not been fathomed. By myself, no less. I hope the preparation for this eventuality, which is to follow, is adequate.

The Lacking Organization is a methodical excursion into the arrangement of a haphazard disc collection. The disc collection is mine, and its haphazard nature is due to a miscalculation of engineering.

You see, at one time, there was Order and Countability to the Collection. I use these terms in the mathematical sense – as the Collection enjoys a rate of Aggregation far steeper than its rate of Disposition, it is for all calculations apparently infinite. No, in this case, it was Countable only because there was an Order.

To experience this phenomenon, count from One to Twenty. Aha! You were able to do so, and smirk to yourself at the ease of this task, by virtue of the knowledge that one Number follows another. Attempt to repeat the task, this time by enumerating the integers completely out of Order. Not as breezy now!

A mistaken conversion between Metric and English measurements yielded an unfortunately weakened juncture in the Shelving System which was to house the Collection and maintain its precious Order. As the last disc was ensconced into this marvel of modern media furnishings, the treachery of the English measurement system was apparent, as the originally rectangular unit began taking on a far more parallelogram-like form.

Disaster was imminent, and within seconds, the Collection had suffered a Metaphysical Transformation. The physical embodiment of the music – the aggregated discs and corresponding artwork – remained identical. However, the very Order that made it a Collection, and not a mere shitload of records, was gone. O, evanescent Order!

Soldiering on, I’ve commenced the process of restoring Order into the collection, breathing a soul into the haphazard sets that are currently arranged by mere physical proximity to each other. As anyone familiar with such a process knows, it is not possible to sort records. They must be listened to!

Hence, this show. I have chosen to undergo this Sisyphean task ON THE AIR, and WFIT FM has agreed to be complicit in the process. Witness, with your very own ears, the process whereby Order is restored. Listen, and experience de-derangement firsthand!